1) The new Kylie single is amazing, because

2) The new Kylie single doesn’t sound like anything else in the charts at the moment, but instead

3) Reminds us of that time before RedOne and dubstep breakdowns and wibbly bits where you could just release an amazing pop single without having to worry about what’s “on trend” at the moment

4)The video’s brilliant, too

5) That’s enough internet, go back outside and sit in the sun

And in the words of new X Factor USA judge Britney Spears, we know we shouldn’t have kept you waiting.

Basically in the couple of weeks since we last posted anything, the Cheryl Cole single has become amazing, the Aiden Grimshaw single remains amazing, and we’ve been listening the hell out of the new Marina & The Diamonds stuff (— Lies really is very good, isn’t it). Anyway, we’re probably a bit late to the table with this one, but in case you haven’t heard it, you better make sure you have a spare pair of socks handy, because this is going to knock yours off.

Amazing.

We’re working on a Girls Aloud ‘thing’ too, but that frequently gets overshadowed by our propensity to drink wine and listen to The Show on repeat, so don’t hold your breath.

The new Aiden Grimshaw single is very good.

The new Cheryl Cole single is alright, but not amazing.

The new Nelly Furtado single is exactly what it should be.

And Nadine Coyle is already doing everything in her power to undermine the Girls Aloud Reunion.

It is at precisely 22:20 on the 10th of April 2012 that we bring you what, no doubt, you have all been waiting a lifetime for.

A good version of The Way You Watch Me.

(Unfortunately it does still feature Travie McCoy - but as with the rest of The Saturdays’ career, we’ve learnt that you can’t have it all.)

In the same way that Madonna’s video for Sorry picks up where the video for Hung Up left off – showing us the progression of her night from club to roller disco – MDNA seems to follow on nicely from Confessions On A Dance Floor.
The lyrics are nothing new – Madge still seems to love singing about her own sexuality, going out, drinking, taking drugs and rebelling against religion. No, lyrically she hasn’t really moved on from where she was in the eighties – but that’s ok. It’s ok because it’s what Madonna fans have come to expect from her. And not only that, but she also relishes in using MDNA as a platform to recapitulate on everything that’s come before. It’s either lazy or very clever, and it certainly caters to both old fans adjusting to the new sound and newcomers alike.

So, what does it sound like? Well, the dance music-inspired sound that draped Confessions remains but seems to have evolved, containing more elements of electro and dubstep: the same as everyone else is doing these days (and thankfully that half hearted Timbaland-produced R&B sound of Hard Candy has all but been banished to the annals of history).

If we were to compare it to another artist’s career, we’d liken Confessions to Britney’s Blackout (a sleeper hit and the best thing she’s done in years), Hard Candy to Circus (a waste of her time and ours), and MDNA to Femme Fatale (not as good as it thinks it is, but good enough to have pushed her forward as an artist, and kept her relevant.

Speaking of relevance, the inclusion of M.I.A and Nicki Minaj on the album is a master-stroke, albeit one that we feel was probably spearheaded by management than Madge herself.
The production of all the tracks is really high quality as well – Girl Gone Wild, I Don’t Give A and I’m Addicted easily stand out as two of the best songs she’s done years.

If there’s one thing that betrays MDNA, though, it’s probably that it’s a Madonna album. There’s nothing wrong with a Madonna album, but such an established artist is never going to be able to release anything without it being compared to everything that’s gone before it. And that’s exactly what we’ve done.
If this was an album from a brand new artist it would be amazing, and probably the album of the year. But coming from Madonna it’ll just have to settle for being very good.

7/10

There are those that make listening to the song a more pleasurable experience, and there are those that make listening to the song a less pleasurable experience.

This video is most definitely the former.